ugh, triple post, I feel bad :/
I fixed it.
Re-downloaded the bf3.exe from the tutorial topic http://zlofenix.org/bf3/BF3_Server.rar
and replaced it, fixed it for me ^_^
Can't edit my previous post, sorry for double post
After I tried it with bigworld's launcher it told me to check "ServerPassBF3"
If I start that it tells me "Cant find bf3.exe, Press enter to exit"
Those are the exact settings I was referring to ;)
If you can't find these any of the other settings (so excluding the threaded & render frames) settings on CCC make sure your preferences are set to advanced view in the CCC
Just a side note that you will only have an Nvidia control panel if you have an Nvidia (GT or GTX for example) based card + installed drivers.
any ATI cards (HD7xxx or R7/9 for example) will have catalyst control center. Where I have yet to find these specific settings.